To Stim or Not to Stim...
In an autistic person, "stimming" refers to repetitive behaviors such as:
• finger-flicking and/or hand-flapping
• rocking the body back and forth while sitting or standing
• looking at something sideways and/or watching an object spin
• opening and closing doors or flicking switches
• listening to the same song or noise over and over
• repetition of saying/singing the same words/songs/scripts over and over again
Stimming is not a meaningless behavior. Listening to autistic self-advocates, over and over, they've said that being able to stim helps them focus, helps them navigate their environment, and helps them feel better overall. If a person is stimming, it's to serve an internal need - a need for sensory stimulation, a need for emotional self-regulation, a need to express anything from frustration to joy, a need to just feel better. And by fulfilling that need, stimming helps autistic people to navigate our neurotypical world.
Alex stims. A lot. He often repeats words, phrases or questions over and over again. He loves to hear us script back and forth with him. Engaging with him in this way not only makes him incredibly happy, but it validates his way of interacting. It shows him that we honor his neurology and his perspective. It demonstrates that he is accepted and loved unconditionally for being his unique, authentic, intelligent, funny, loving, autistic self.
• finger-flicking and/or hand-flapping
• rocking the body back and forth while sitting or standing
• looking at something sideways and/or watching an object spin
• opening and closing doors or flicking switches
• listening to the same song or noise over and over
• repetition of saying/singing the same words/songs/scripts over and over again
Stimming is not a meaningless behavior. Listening to autistic self-advocates, over and over, they've said that being able to stim helps them focus, helps them navigate their environment, and helps them feel better overall. If a person is stimming, it's to serve an internal need - a need for sensory stimulation, a need for emotional self-regulation, a need to express anything from frustration to joy, a need to just feel better. And by fulfilling that need, stimming helps autistic people to navigate our neurotypical world.
Alex stims. A lot. He often repeats words, phrases or questions over and over again. He loves to hear us script back and forth with him. Engaging with him in this way not only makes him incredibly happy, but it validates his way of interacting. It shows him that we honor his neurology and his perspective. It demonstrates that he is accepted and loved unconditionally for being his unique, authentic, intelligent, funny, loving, autistic self.
I have heard many reasons as to why stimming should be eliminated or controlled, but in our family, we never attempt to eliminate Alex's stimming. Justifications for forcing a person to stop stimming towards the goal of making them seem "normal" doesn't sit well with me when adults and children alike so clearly say they use these behaviors to help them navigate "our world". There is no shame in using a non-harmful behavior to help yourself cope.
If you love someone who stims, my advice is to learn to relax and stop worrying about whether or not others are judging you or your loved one. If you work with someone who stims, my advice is to never try to change behavior only because you THINK it's embarrassing or abnormal. If this is the case, it may be yourself who needs to change to accept others.
Below is an article from an autistic woman describing her experiences with "Quiet Hands" and how negative it was for her. It's an important read, even with some of the language.
#happyflappy #stimandletstim #stimtastic #autism #autismacceptance #autismacceptancemonth #differentnotless
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